The Jill Sobule Song Catalog (Revised, Dec 2009)

Here is the revised list of the songs Jill has written or performed, even the unreleased ones... include a few she wrote when she was seven.
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The Jill Sobule Song Catalog (Revised, Dec 2009)

“94 Weeks“ (Jill Sobule) Emma Roberts: Unfabulous and More 2005
"A Good Life" (Eaton, Sobule) California Years (2009) 
"A Little Tenderness" (Sobule) Unreleased 
"Agony Cafe" (Sobule) Unreleased
"All I Do is Watch The News" (Sobule) Unreleased (2008) 
"All the Young Dudes" (Bowie) Unreleased 
"Almost Fell" (Sobule) [Borders Bonus Track] Underdog Victorious (2004)
"Analog Girl" (Sobule) Unreleased
"Angel/Asshole" (Sobule) Underdog Victorious (2004) 
“Another Saturday” (O’Neil, Sobule) Marykate O'Neil (2002)
“Attention” (O’Neil, Sobule) Marykate O'Neil: Underground (2009)
"Attic" (Sobule) Happy Town (1997)
"Beat Greets" (theme song) (Sobule) Unreleased 
"Barren Egg" (Eaton, Sobule) Happy Town (1997)
“Big Shoes” (Sobule) I Never Learned To Swim 2001
"Billy's Thing" (Sobule) Unreleased 
"Bitter" (Barone, Sobule) Happy Town (1997) 
"Blizzard of 96" (Sobule) Unreleased 
"Bloody Valentine" (Eaton, Sobule) California Years (2009) 
"Blue America" (Sobule) Unreleased 2004
"Blue Train" (Sobule) Unreleased 2007 
"Bob Edwards Theme Song" (Sobule) Unreleased (2009)
“Buffalo” (theme song) (Sobule, McKeown) Unreleased 2009
"Call Rudy" (Sobule) Unreleased
"Christmas Time Is Here" (Vince Guaraldi) It's the Thought That Counts (2001) 
"Cinnamon Park" (Eaton, Lamm, Sobule) Underdog Victorious (2004) 
"Claire" (Eaton, Sobule) Pink Pearl (2000) 
"Clever" (Eaton, Sobule) Happy Town (1997) 
“Close to You” (Bacharach, David) Unreleased
“Coming to America” (Diamond) Unreleased 2009
"Condoleezza" (Sobule) Unreleased 

“Daisy Chain” ( Wiedlin, Valentine, Sobule ) God Bless The Go-Go's 2001 
"Deep Blue" (Sobule, Thoron) Prozak and the Platypus (2008) 
"Disinformation" (Sobule) Things Here Are Different (1990)
"Don't Drop Dead" (Sobule) The Folk Years (2003) 
"Don't Fuck with Me" (Sobule) Be Mine... Please (2000) 
"Don't Let Us Get Sick" (Warren Zevon) Enjoy Every Sandwich (2004) 
"Down by the River" (Neil Young) Cinnamon Girl compilation 2007 
"Dreamtime" (Sobule, Thoron) Prozak and the Platypus (2008) 
"Eight Years" (Sobule) Unreleased (2009) 
"Empty Glass (Sobule, Thoron) Prozak and the Platypus (2008)
"End of Love" (Sobule) Unreleased
“Everything‘s Cool” (Sobule, Julian) Richard Julian: Good Life (2002)
"Everybody's Queer" (Sobule, Barone) Unreleased 
"Evian" (Eaton, Jacobson, Sobule) Things Here Are Different (1990) 
"Evolution" (Sobule, Thoron) Prozak and the Platypus (2008)
"Fearless" (Hanley, Sobule, Lewis) Unreleased (2006)
“For the Good Times” (Kristofferson) with Lloyd Cole, The Pilgrim 2006
“Florida” (Sobule, Julian) Richard Julian: Good Life (2002)
"Freshman" (Eaton, Sobule) Underdog Victorious (2004)
“Girl Say Go” (Sobule) Unreleased
"God Save the Internet" (Hanley, Sobule, Lewis) Unreleased (2006)
"Going Down to Jackson" (Sobule) Unreleased
"Golden Cage" (Sobule) Things Here Are Different (1990) 
"Good Night My Love, Good Night" (Sobule) Be Mine... Please (2000) 
"Good Person Inside" (Sobule) Jill Sobule (1995)
"Gotta Get Me Some (Sobule, Thoron) Prozak and the Platypus (2008) 
"Guy Who Doesn't Get It" (Galdston, Sobule) Pink Pearl (2000) 

"Half a Heart" (DeMain, Sobule) Happy Town (1997)
“Happy” (Schlesinger, Sobule) Marykate O'Neil: mkUltra (2008)
"Happy Town" (Goldenberg, Sobule) Happy Town (1997)
"Harry Widdington" (Eaton, Sobule) Unreleased (2006) 
"Hearts and Minds" (Sobule) Unreleased (2006) 
"Heroes" (Eaton, Sobule) Pink Pearl (2000)
"High Five" Sobule Unreleased
“Holiday” (Sobule) Unreleased
"Hopelessly Fated" (Sobule, Barone) Unreleased 
“Hot In Herre“ (Nelly) Unreleased
"Houdini's Box" (Eaton, Sobule) Jill Sobule (1995) 
“Hudson” (O’Neil, Sobule) Marykate O'Neil (2002)
"I Kissed a Girl" (Eaton, Sobule) Jill Sobule (1995) 
"I Saw a Cop" (Sobule) Underdog Victorious (2004) 
“I Sleep with My Clothes On” (O’Neil, Sobule) Marykate O'Neil:1-800-Bankrupt (2006)
“I Want to go to the Zoo” (Sobule) Unreleased
"I Will Survive" (Gaynor) from In Their Own Words compilation (1997)
“I’m a Believer” (Diamond ) Unreleased
“I'm Ready for My Luck to Turn Around” (O’Neil, Sobule) Marykate O'Neil:1-800-Bankrupt (2006)
"I'm So Happy" (Eaton, Sobule) Happy Town (1997) 
"I’ve Got Your Number" (Coleman) The Songs of Cy Coleman (2009)
"It's Not the Sinner, It's the Sin" (Sobule) Unreleased (2008)
“It’s Super Tuesday” (Sobule) Unreleased 2008
 
"Jesus Was a Dreidel Spinner" (Sobule) It's the Thought That Counts (2001) 
"Jetpack" (Eaton, Sobule) Underdog Victorious (2004)
"Jill and Julia Show" (theme song) (Sobule) Unreleased 
"Jitters & Creeps" (Sobule, Thoron) Prozak and the Platypus (2008) 
"Joey" (Demain, Sobule) Underdog Victorious (2004) 
"Just a Little Lovin'" (Mann, Weil) from Forever Dusty compilation (1999)
"Karen by Night" (Eaton, Sobule) Jill Sobule (1995) 
"Kathie Lee" (Sobule) It's the Thought That Counts (2001)
"League of Failures" (Eaton, Sobule) California Years (2009) 
"The Legend Of Lagunaloch Lake" (Schletter, Sobule) Witching Hour (2008)
"Let's Get Back Together" (Sobule) (Underdog Victorious sessions) Unreleased (2004) 
"Letting Go of God" (Sobule, Sweeney) Letting Go of God (2007) 
"Linda Tripp Song" (Sobule) Unreleased 
"Life Goes on Without You" (Sobule) Things Here Are Different (1990) 
"Little Guy" (Sobule) Happy Town (1997) 
"Living Color" (Sobule) Things Here Are Different (1990) 
"Look at Me" (live 2008) (Sobule) Unreleased 
"Love Is Never Equal" (Eaton, Sobule) Happy Town (1997) 
"Loveless Motel" (Sobule) Pink Pearl (2000) 
"Lucky in Love" (Sobule) Be Mine... Please (2000) 
"Lucy at the Gym" (Eaton, Sobule) Pink Pearl (2000) 

"Manhattan in January" (Sobule) Unreleased (2006) 
“Map” (O’Neil, Sobule) Marykate O'Neil: mkUltra (2008)
"Margaret" (Holland, Sobule) Jill Sobule (1995) 
"Mary Kay" (Eaton, Sobule) Pink Pearl (2000) 
"Merry Christmas from the Family" (Robert Earl Keen) It's the Thought That Counts (2001)
"Mexican Pharmacy" (Eaton, Sobule) California Years (2009) 
"Mexican Wrestler" (Eaton, Sobule) Pink Pearl (2000) 
"Mickey and Me" (Sobule) (Underdog Victorious sessions) Unreleased (2004)
“Minnesota“ (theme song) (Sobule, McKeown) Unreleased 2009
"Mom" (Sobule) (Recorded for California Years Session) Unreleased 
"Money Shot" (Sobule) Unreleased 
"My Life Uncovered" (Sobule) Unreleased
“Mr. Freidman” (Hamby, Maiuri, O’Neil, Sobule) Marykate O'Neil: Underground (2009)
“Mundane Dream” (O’Neil, Sobule) Marykate O'Neil (2002)
“My Living Will” (Sobule) Unreleased 
“Never My Love” (Donald and Richard Addrisi) Unreleased
“New Shoes” (Jill Sobule) Emma Roberts: Unfabulous and More 2005
"Nothing I Can Do (Sobule, Thoron) Prozak and the Platypus (2008)
“Nothing I Say or Do” (O’Neil, Sobule) Marykate O'Neil: mkUltra (2008)
"Nothing Natural" (Eaton, Sobule) Underdog Victorious (2004) 
"Nothing to Prove" (Eaton, Sobule) California Years (2009) 
"Now That I Don't Have You" (Eaton, Sobule) Jill Sobule (1995) 

"October in Paris" (Sobule) Be Mine... Please (2000) 
"Odd Girl Out" (Sobule. Barone) Unreleased (2007) 
“Ooh Child” (Stan Vincent) Unreleased
"On the AM Radio Dial" (Sobule) Unreleased (2008) 
"One of These Days" (Eaton, Sobule) Pink Pearl (2000) 
"Palm Springs" (Eaton, Sobule) California Years (2009)
 “Past All the Stars” (O’Neil, Sobule) Marykate O'Neil:1-800-Bankrupt (2006)
"Perry St." (Sobule) (Underdog Victorious sessions) Unreleased (2004)
“Philosophy 101” (Sobule) Unreleased 2009
"Pilar (Things Here Are Different)" (Sobule) Things Here Are Different (1990)
"Pretty Monster" (Sobule) 2009
"Provocateurs" [theme song] (Sobule) Unreleased (2007)
“Punchrocker” (Jill Sobule) Emma Roberts: Unfabulous and More 2005
"Put Him in the Hall of Fame" (Sobule) Unreleased (2007) 

"Queen of Spades" (Sobule) (from the Supermodel single) B-side (1995) 
"Que Sera, Sera" (Livingston, Evans) The Folk Years (2003) 
“Radio Shack” (O’Neil, Sobule) Marykate O'Neil (2002)
"Rainy Day Parade" (Eaton, Sobule) Pink Pearl (2000) 
"Red Purse" (Sobule) Unreleased 
"Resistance Song" (Sobule) Jill Sobule (1995) 
"Right is Wrong" (Sobule) Unreleased (2008) 
"Ritalin Kid" (Sobule) Unreleased 
"Rock Me to Sleep" (Barone, Sobule) Pink Pearl (2000) 
"Rupert" (Sobule) (2009) 
"Sad Beauty" (Sobule) Things Here Are Different (1990)
“Safeway Has a Brand New Bag” (Sobule) Unreleased
"San Francisco" (Eaton, Sobule) California Years (2009)
“Saved” (O’Neil, Sobule) Marykate O'Neil: Underground (2009)
"Shoreline" (Sobule) The Folk Years (2003) 
"Skyhook" (Sobule, Elise Thoron) Prozak and the Platypus (2008) 
"Slutty Halloween" (Sobule) Unreleased (2007) 
"Small Things" (Sobule) Unreleased 
"Smoke Dreams" (Eaton, Sobule) I Never Learned To Swim 
"So Ill, So Jill" (Wiedlin, Caffey) Unreleased song about Jill Sobule
"So Kind" (Bunch, Sobule) Things Here Are Different (1990) 
"Sold My Soul" (Eaton, Sobule) Happy Town (1997) 
"Soldiers of Christ" (Eaton, Sobule) Happy Town (1997) 
"Someone's Gonna Break Your Heart" (Mastro, Sobule) Pink Pearl (2000)
"Some Things To Know About Monsters" (Schletter, Sobule) Witching Hour (2008)
"Somewhere in New Mexico" (Galdston, Sobule) Pink Pearl (2000) 
"Sonny Liston" (Sobule) The Folk Years (2003) 
"Spiderman" (Demain, Sobule) California Years (2009) 
"St. Francis" (Yves, Beauvais, Sobule) It's the Thought That Counts (2001)
“St. Louis” (theme song) (Sobule, McKeown) Unreleased 2009
“Stay” (O’Neil, Sobule) Marykate O'Neil:1-800-Bankrupt (2006)
"Stoned Soul Picnic" (Nyro) I Never Learned To Swim 
"Strawberry Gloss" (Sobule) Underdog Victorious (2004) 
"Sunrise, Sunset" (Bock, Harnick) The Folk Years (2003) 
"Super 8" (Galdston, Sobule) Happy Town (1997) 
"Supermodel" (Baerwald, Kitay, MacLeod, Vigard) Jill Sobule (1995) 
"Survivor" (Destiny's Child) The Folk Years (2003) 
“Susan Fingerle” (O’Neil, Sobule) Marykate O'Neil:1-800-Bankrupt (2006)
"Sweetheart" (Eaton, Sobule, Dickens) California Years (2009) 
"Sweet Li'l Summer" (Sobule) The Folk Years (2003)
 
"Talkin' Platy" (Sobule, Thoron) Prozak and the Platypus (2008) 
"Tel Aviv" (Eaton, Sobule) Underdog Victorious (2004) 
"Tell Me I've Won" (Sobule, Thoron) Prozak and the Platypus (2008) 
"Tell Me Your Dreams" (Eaton) Things Here Are Different (1990) 
"Tender Love" (Demain, Eaton, Sobule) Underdog Victorious (2004) 
"Texas" (Sobule) Unreleased 
"Thank Misery" (Eaton, Sobule) Underdog Victorious (2004)
"That Hat" (Bill Demain, Sobule) It's the Thought That Counts (2005 reissue) 
"The Couple on the Street" (Eaton, Sobule) Jill Sobule (1995) 
"The Donor Song" (Sobule) California Years (2009) 
"The End of Love" (Sobule) Unreleased (2006) 
"The Gifted Child" (Sobule) Things Here Are Different (1990) 
"The Girl in the Affair" (Sobule) Jill Sobule (1995) 
"The Jig Is Up" (Eaton, Sobule) Jill Sobule (1995) 
"The Last Line" (Eaton, Sobule) Underdog Victorious (2004)
"The Loneliest Guy in the World" ( Sobule) Unreleased (2008)
"The Man in the Boat" (Sobule) Spew compilation (1995) 
"The Most Miserable Girl in the World" (Sobule) Unreleased
"The Rapture" (Sobule) Unreleased (2006) 
"The Secretive Life"(Sobule) from Harriet the Spy Soundtrack (1996) 
“Till There Was You” ( Willson) with Erin McKeown Unreleased 2009
“Things Are Too Good (They're Bound to Go Bad)” (O’Neil, Sobule) Marykate O'Neil:1-800-Bankrupt (2006)
"This Land Is Your Land" (Woody Guthrie) It's the Thought That Counts (2001) 
"Too Cool to Fall in Love" (Holland, Melamed, Sobule) Things Here Are Different (1990) 
"Trains" (Eaton, Sobule) Jill Sobule (1995) 
“Trouble” (O’Neil, Sobule) Marykate O'Neil: mkUltra (2008)
"Truth Is You Lied" (Sobule) from Grace of My Heart Soundtrack (1996)

“U-Haul” (O’Neil, Sobule) Marykate O'Neil (2002)
"Under the Disco Ball" (Sobule) Underdog Victorious (2004) 
"Underachiever" (Sobule) Happy Town (1997) 
"Underdog Victorious" (Eaton, Sobule) Underdog Victorious (2004)
“Underground” (Eaton, O’Neil, Sobule) Marykate O'Neil: Underground (2009)
"Viking Song" (Sobule) Unreleased 
"Vrbana Bridge" (Eaton, Sobule) Jill Sobule (1995) 
"War Correspondent" (Sobule) The Folk Years (2003) 
"Watch Me Sleep" (Sobule, Thoron) Prozak and the Platypus (2008) 
"We Are the Writers" (Sobule) (on the 2007 Writers Strike) Unreleased (2007)
"Wendell Lee" (Eaton, Sobule) California Years (2009) 
"Western Skies" (Sobule) Unreleased (2004) 
"When My Ship Comes In" (Eaton, Gaye, Hunter, Sobule, Stevenson) Happy Town (1997)
"Where Do I Begin" (Sobule) The Truth About Cats & Dogs (1996)
"Where is Bobbie Gentry?" (Eaton, Sobule) California Years (2009)
"While You Were Sleeping" (Demain, Sobule) California Years (2009) 
"Wonderlost" (Sobule) Unreleased (2007)
“Work It” (Missy Eliot) Unreleased
“Young Girls on Diets” (Sobule) Unreleased written as a child
"Youthful Indiscretions" (Sobule) Unreleased 2000

Concrete cows!

(A Thank You to Jill Sobule's UK Street Team)
by Vincent

Jill Sobule has given me the privilege of being her INTERNATIONAL street team Czar. When I tell friends about Jill's UK tour they always ask, "Do you get to go?" No... and yes. I won't get to travel with Jill, yet in an odd way I will. For one thing, Jill and I are the same age and seemed to have had our minds polluted by the same pop culture trash. When I listen to her music, talk to her or read her e-mails to me, I feel she is saying exactly what is in my head. Funny, the voice in my head is tiny, cute and Jewish. Who knew?

I don't know if you have seen "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" but there is a amazing song in the movie called "The Origin of Love." That song suggest that we were all once a single person made up of two people. The Gods were annoyed at us being so happy so they ripped us apart. Somewhere on this lonely planet is your other half wondering why you haven`t returned their calls. What is the problem? Do you not like you? Well, I returned Jill's call and now suspect she is my less boring twin. I have such fun living vicariously through her. In a way, I am writing cool songs, traveling the world and braking hearts where ever I go.

Then again, when I feel what Jill is feeling am I really: driving across the country in a twenty-four hour marathon jammed in a cramp, smelly van scrunched in a bucket seat with my back screaming. Or after three months on the road do I take my one day off to do laundry -- or sleep? Maybe I get finished with the tour and wander around the house like Hamlet's ghost for a solid week. I asked Jill why she does it? She looked off the bare stage to the empty seats, remembering an hour before, she smiled and said, "It's just sooo much fun."
I see the fun too. As I sign people in the UK up, I am struck again and again how fun and excited they are. And how much they are going to get a kick out of Jill. Just like when I talked to Jill for the first time, I feel (when I read the e-mails) I am talking to a good friend after a long time apart.

One woman, who has been amazing and that Jill rightfully calls a Goddess, is Emma "our girl in Milton Keynes." I can just feel the excitement and joy in her e-mails as she tells Jill all the cool things to do in town. It is the home of the decoding headquarters during the WWII that broke the German Enigma code and shortened the war. I thought that was soo cool. So did Jill. And now I find there are concrete cows standing in the fields of Milton Keynes. Yeah, I'm a dork but that is fab. And had it not been for Emma, Jill wouldn't know about them. And I suspect her trip would have been the poorer for it. Thank you Emma, you are a Goddess.

Am I going with Jill to the UK? Dang right I am. In my mind's eye, I am sitting on a concrete cow at this very moment, posing for a silly picture and waving like such a tourist. Sorry about the mess in my brain as you look around. I kind of live out of my head. But you do too...
Street Team UK... thank you!

Vincent
vincentblackwod@yahoo.co.uk

Love Amongst the Torn Pages

Familiarity doesn't necessarily breed contempt --

unless you are dealing with someone who's contemptible.

I've been thinking about my book and wondering two things: what is my relation to the artists I interview and how many of my chapters will never be published? Answer: A. I'll tell you at the end... B. so far, two and a half.

Writing about artist by getting to know them is a doubled edge sword. On one hand, I am getting amazing access. On the other hand, I find out things I probably shouldn't. If I let those things be known -- I could get a lot of attention. So I check to make sure things are okay. In one case the artist was fine with the chapter, but I had to change her name. In other chapters, even changing the names won't help.

One missing chapter is magical, life affirming and just made me smile. It reminded me what true love should be -- but almost never is. A real Romeo and Juliet. Umm, well Juliet and Juliet but without the poison. Okay -- a little bit of bitterness in the cup. I was asked not to publish it or the drawing I did of the two women together. A drawing based on a song written by a famous songwriter and how that song brought the two women together.

I told the story to the songwriter and she was very moved. Whenever we chat the subject almost always turns to "the girls." She mocks them with, "You know what the good book says about them? They are soooo going to hell! Awww, but they are the cutest couple. I love them."

The last time the singer was in New York, she chatted with one of the girls; who is a student at college. After the concert they were going their separate ways. But the student heard familiar footsteps behind her. The singer was following her. Why? Well, she was wondering if the girl was okay? How was school going... is she eating enough? Probably not. The singer bought her a knish. Hesitantly, the student admitted she needed a job and was struggling. The singer would help find her a job.

What a great story. The songwriter is such a softie -- and she is right. Those two make the cutest couple. Someday you may read about it with all the names proudly in place... with warm details that would make a romance novel seem unsentimental. But most people don't know they are lovers. The world is still pretty hostile to what they feel deep inside. 

That is best expressed by what my buddy told me about the relationship; "My ex-boyfriend can parade an endless stream of vomitable pictures of him and his E-harmony bitch on Facebook and I can't post one of me and my sweetheart. It will cause my family and hers to die of shock. It is like it is a dirty little secret. It is just wrong." It is.

This morning I wrote about another love story that just made me so happy. I was over the moon when I heard about it. It was about someone who has had such hard luck with love finally finding it. I changed the names -- but try as I could, I realized I couldn't publish it. Both of them are famous and it isn't public knowledge that they are together.

I only found out about it when someone I know had dinner with them. One of them is a well known actress with a hit movie. She is getting romantic leads. If I make it known that she is seeing a woman -- it could hurt her career. She might not get those romantic leads with hunky guys (who are probably also gay) since the casting directors (who are also probably gay) will see her as "not right" for the role of a heterosexual.

I'd make an awful gossip writer, wouldn't I? I keep putting myself in the place of who I am writing about. I wonder how they would react when they read it. Anyway, love is so hard in the best of circumstances. The world doesn't need to get involved. Help it along, don't be the jerk who steps on it.

These lost chapters are great reads, not because I'm a competent writer -- but because these people are so charming, sweet and funny. You'd have to be a real creep not to melt at what they are going through and be on their side. They hardly seem a on an express elevator to hell, no matter what the good book says.  

I can see the e-mail someone will send me now; "Your role as a writer is to be a journalist and... an activist. Do the right thing and publish whatever you have learned. The truth will set everybody free." Umm, anyone who writes that is a lonely dickhead.

I know what is right: when in doubt, just do what a friend would do.

Photos by Kerry Nolte

The Ten Other Songs by Jill Sobule You Must Hear

A lot of people are arguing the merits of the real "I Kissed A Girl" by Jill Sobule verses the other, recent version. Well let me say it, again, Jill is the best songwriter working today. I never miss an opportunity to prove that. Now seems like a grand time to celebrate a hero to nerdy girls and guys everywhere.

I see her like a friend with an honest, funny way of looking at things. I can't wait to read her blog at (http://www.Jillsobule.com). She never seems forced, arty or handing me B.S. -- unless handing me B.S. is part of the joke.

She can take the saddest, most heart breaking idea and catch me off guard with her wicked sense of humor. To me, she is amazingly playful and positive. No matter how sad the song may be, I always feel so much better after listening to it.

So here are ten other songs of Jill's that you MUST hear:

10. "Nothing to Prove" (California Years 2009)
A screamingly funny song written by Jill while on morphine. She probably needed it as she wrote about the decline and fall of the record empire.


9. "Super Eight" (Happy Town 1997)
This is a vivid, touching look at a child's birthday party. Watching an old film of the seemingly happy party, Jill begins to recall what really happened.


8. "Big Shoes" (I Never Learned to Swim 2001)
Jill had to wear corrective shoes and leg braces for most of her childhood. Her feet are now perfect. Her heart? Not so much. She details the damage with such wit that it's only after the song is over and you stop laughing, that you think, "That would be hell."


7. "Jet Pack" (Underdog Victorious 2004)

Jill takes a comic image and then shows an outsider dreaming. That describes most of Jill's work. The song soars in rapture (flying to her lover in the good part of town). But then the song ends very much on the ground;

.

I don't have a jet pack.

I don't even have a car

I just have this token 

And a head full of stars...

.

I can't think of any lines that describe Jill's magic as well as that.

6. "Rock Me to Sleep" (Pink Pearl 2000)
Not having someone to love can be hardest late, late at night. Lonely images swirl about Jill with such a real, yet poetic touch that you want to email her and ask; "Hey, are you okay?" A devastating adult lullaby.


5. "Karen By Night" (Jill Sobule 1995)
How this wasn't a hit song stuns me. It is such an infectious rocking song about a girl who follows her seemingly bland boss around to see what she REALLY does at night. And her boss isn't like the fat Marlon Brando...


4. "Strawberry Gloss" (Underdog Victorious 2004)
This song piles on images of teenage happiness. It perfectly captures a warm, innocent time. And then corrupts it with the reality of the situation. As Jill said, "Did ANYONE have a happy 7th grade?" She didn't.


3. "Mexican Wrestler" (Pink Pearl 2000)
This is a song about the person who you first fell in love with and they don't love you back. And you are screwed up to this day. It starts out very funny and quirky -- then swings around to the tragic. The effect is touching and beautiful.


2. "Houdini's Box" (Jill Sobule 1995)
The perfect song to listen to late at night. On one hand it is a dream about being trapped under water. On the other, it is about being in love. The song is hypnotic, comforting and frightening -- just like love.

1. "Somewhere in New Mexico" (Pink Pearl 2000)

"Palm Springs" (California Years 2009)

These songs will always hold a special place for me. I was feeling so lonely and awful riding a bus home from work through a black Minnesota winter. "Somewhere in New Mexico" played on my CD player. It changed me. It was the most beautiful song I'd ever heard. Perhaps only the Beach Boys' "Warmth of the Sun" comes close. It is a very holy song about not having faith. It is a very funny song about feeling so empty and alone.


I recently heard a live MP3 of "Palm Springs" and it is the next chapter in Jill's search for something more. These two songs go together like the first two chapters in a great novel. My favorite novel.


Jill's ability to weave images and complexed emotions is unsurpassed today. I really think only Dylan or Randy Newman in there prime were better at that kind of lyric writing -- although in the end, they are not as friendly -- not as endearing. You don't feel they are your BFF.

You can find Jill's CDs at

THE JILL STORE 

http://www.jillsobule.com/store

“Resistance Song” by Jill Sobule

Jill will be playing gigs in France in 2010. In tribute, here is a look at Jill's "Resistance Song" and a glimpse into her working methods. By the way, John Lennon and Ray Bradbury used dreams as part of their writing process. Recently, I found Jill sleeping on the job too.

I woke Jill out of a sound sleep. I could tell -- the yawning, the confused, "Yeah. Huh? What?" muttered into the phone. "It's okay, Vincent. I was having this dream, now I'll remember it... thanks. Can I call you back in five minutes?" She needed to write it down.

I knew it was important, it is part of her job. Journaling is where Jill often discovers songs. Writing down her dreams is part of that. Besides, it is interesting to see what is going on in our heads when we're not looking? Isn't it? Like wondering what our cat is really doing when we're not there. I once set up a video camera to solve that mystery. The answer? You don't want to know. 

"I had one of my weird high school dreams," Jill said. "It was after class and I was trying to find my way home. But I couldn't. I was completely lost. I have these dreams a lot: things like not remembering my locker combination, playing with a high school band, and I don't know any of their material. But I don't mind, you see -- I love bad dreams. You know why?"

“Why?” I asked.

“Because they didn’t happen.”

-- Jill Sobule to Vincent Blackwood (08-31-2009)



Through out my life I have had dreams that I am in the resistance. I’m fighting Nazis! They are great dreams, the kind you wake up and you just want to close your eyes back... I’m not scared. I’m in some corridor and I’ve got, you know, a machine gun, but I don’t feel bad about killing because... these are NAZIS! And it’s always VERY romantic. You know, I either think that in a pass life I was a resistance fighter or I just watched a lot of Hogan's Heroes growing up.

-- Jill Sobule (On The Edge - 1995-06-05)




“Resistance Song”
(Sobule)


I had this dream we were in the resistance
Somewhere in France fighting traitors and fascists
You were my mistress yes you were a woman
But I knew it was you by the shape of your mouth
You called me Maurice and I had a small moustache
Played clarinet in a decadent band

Until we
Hid in the bushes
We shot from the bushes
Made love in the bushes
Like there was no tomorrow

But in my real life I'm a cocktail waitress
Dodging men's hands instead of bullets
And you're a bass player in the band that got a deal
Dealing with assholes instead of explosives
Still we were grateful to be alive
Together fighting side by side

As we
Hide in the bushes
We shoot from the bushes
We love in the bushes
Like there's no tomorrow

We'll drink from the bushes
We'll hide in the bushes
We'll love in the bushes
Like there's no tomorrow

(La la la...)

We promised if one of us left or died
We'd meet again in another life

And we'll
Hide in the bushes
We'll shoot from the bushes
Make love in the bushes
Like there's no tomorrow

We'll hide in the bushes
We'll shoot from the bushes
Make love in the bushes
Like there is no tomorrow

Video for Resistance Song 


Resistance Song is from the CD Jill Sobule (1995).

Buy it from Jill’s store so she will actually make some money on it.


Jill's biggest selling CD, featuring her two MTV hits and many other favorites. Includes: Good Person Inside, Margaret, (Theme From) The Girl In The Affair, Karen By Night, Houdini's Box, Trains, I Kissed A Girl, The Jig Is Up, Resistance Song, Supermodel, The Couple On The Street, Vrbana Bridge, and Now That I Don't Have You. 

Regular price: $15.00 - ON SALE NOW: $12.00

Meet an Introspective Mess

“Superglue & Seashells” by an Introspective Mess

When I first heard the song "Superglue and Seashells" by an Introspective Mess I had the same reaction that I had when I first heard Amanda Palmer's "&" and Jill Sobule's "Somewhere in New Mexico." This songwriter is blessed... and cursed. She can't help but tell the truth. Like a tragic figure out of Greek Mythology, she doesn't say what she should, she says what she must. And that will bring her endless pain. An Introspective Mess, like Jill and Amanda, is incapable of bullshit, even to save her soul.

It is interesting to see how an Introspective Mess, Jill Sobule and Amanda Palmer each deal with the burden of that gift. How they wrap it in humor, surrealism or quirkiness in hopes of sweetening it. Tricking us to drop our guard long enough to become sympathetic before we are horrified by what is really going on. It's a dangerous game that. But they have no choice.

-- Vincent (Dec 20, 2009)

I'm going to post this and pretend that I am some kind of important (which I'm not). Recently, I was asked by my friend Vincent to write the stories behind some of my songs. It's kind of interesting...

“Superglue & Seashells”
.

This song took me forever to finish, but once I was done I was done! It is probably the most personal song I’ve written and been okay with sharing, and even still it’s rarely played.

.

Many days and many nights as I sat in my closet, I would get bombarded with different lyrics and not be able to do anything with them, so I’d write them down and go onto the next set. Finally, I was sitting on my mom’s bed, reading old letters when the rhythm popped into my head. I rushed to my uke, and kept playing it over and over again so I wouldn’t forget. Then I brought out my journals and started dissecting areas that I could relate this music to. It was sad and lonely and very personal. And, of course, I knew that either this song would be the first I ever express my troubles with depression, self-injury, and suicide or it would be one of those secret songs I sing under my breath so no one can hear it. It wound up being the first…

.

The majority of “Superglue & Seashells” was written during my Great Depression in 2008. I had attempted suicide and quit cutting for about four months prior to the onset of the latest tragedy. After a couple weeks of incessant emotional and physical pain, I couldn’t take it anymore, so I popped off some blades from disposable razors and started self-medicating, so to speak. I had quickly gone from the few cuts a week that I was doing before to forty a day if I was allowed opportunity. Sleep was useless, I had given up on it. Every time I laid my head on a pillow, the demons that inhibit my brain came out to scream at me. During times of depression, they do that. I hear a lot of things, like voices, screams and glass breaking. To silence these unbearable sounds, I kept music playing 24/7 on my iPod. I had found Blue October very useful because for once, I wasn’t alone. There was actually someone that felt this same way, and is still alive - whoa! What a relief. What a ray of light that dimly shined into my cave.

.

Welcome to my closet. I cleared out a lot of junk, getting rid of it. Then I made a home for myself, comfortable in it’s dark and cold embrace. I never cut myself in there, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t take out my self-hatred. I was able to be the emotional mess that I had become when I was hidden behind that door; I was able to break down and cry, and then to stop myself from being the Stupid Girl that I am, I would hit myself. Bashing bruises on my thighs, my back - nearly blacking out from hitting myself in the head so hard that my vision turned black and slowly returned to it’s dysfunction. I was a wreck, but through music kept it together. 

.

Throughout this time in my life, I played more shows than I ever had. In fact, it was the only time I left the house. Oddly enough, I had become so numb that most of the time I didn’t remember a single thing that happened. Only plugging in and walking away. It was nice not to feel the nerves, but I missed the satisfaction of combating them.

 .

I don’t know if anyone really knew what I was going through, because I’ve always been really ashamed to admit that I have feelings, but if it hadn’t been for music and the love of friendship, I know for a fact I wouldn’t have made it. Not one day.

.

-- An Introspective Mess (Sunday, December 06, 2009) 

"Superglue & Seashells"

Another blank white page
Where my thoughts should be
The wind stole words from my mouth
And carried them away

Where do I start?
Where do I start?

I'm locking myself in the shelter
I've made from my bedroom closet
It's the place of safety I run to
When the world turns It's tongue

Oceans crash in my stomach
An un-aided sort of rush

Everything about me aches
Waiting for relief
I feel as if I'm dancing
On a dam about to break

Where do I start?
Where do I start?

These scars create a treasure map
Of who I am, where Ive been
And I cannot hide all these marks upon my skin

So, paste a smile on this frown
With superglue and seashells
If you pull it off just right
No one will think to look twice 

Video for "Superglue & Seashells"

Visit an Introspective Mess by clicking here

www.myspace.com/introspectivemess 

or 

E-mail: tippythevegan@yahoo.com

The Crafty Woman's Guide to Pussy Printing

I don't know where my friend got the courage from, but she ask a famous rock star for help. My friend stammered, fumbled and couldn't get the words out. She asked her hero to do a favor for her buddy. (No, it was not for me!! By the way, the legend asked me to hide her true identity, for reason that will become very clear. So let's call her Anastasia Beaverhausen... ) Fräulein Beaverhausen was a trooper. She reassured my friend that it was all perfectly normal; "I know... I know, your friend wants a print of my vagina using my menstrual blood? Of course -- that's a hobby of mine!"

WTF! REALLY!! It was? Small damn world.

Anastasia was delighted that someone else was using all natural materials too. (When I talked to another songwriter, I found others are doing it too. It is what the hip kids are up to now.) My buddy and Anastasia began to bond. This was way better than piercing each other's ears and talking about boys. IF you are interested, Anastasia gave my friend some tips on how to get the best result, just in case you missed that episode of Oprah:

1. If you are going for a pretty print -- you will need to shave. Anastasia doesn't, which will lead to something more atmospheric. Anastasia is an artist and is going for that.

2. With the economy being what it is, this seems like a great Christmas or Hanukah card idea. One can get a pack of blanks at the dollar store and just run off a bunch.

3. Mind you, it might be wise to have the assistance of a trusted friend or co-worker (if you are doing this during your coffee break to save money by using office supplies.) Your print buddy (they should probably be wearing gloves... and a mask... or one of those hazardous material suits, you know, like in Outbreak). Your buddy can carefully hand you a blank card, you stamp it and hand it back. That way you won't get your bloody fingerprints all over it.

You want as professional a result as possible. This will be framed and hanging above the mantle -- between those creepy porcelain dolls whose eyes follow you all over the room and that weird knitted blue and white Kleenex cozy that just catches dust and cat hair. Have some pride, won't you? You don't want granny to be embarrassed when her friends look up during a game of bridge. Mrs. Todd might mutter, "My grand daughter's is much nicer." That would just spoil Grandma's day. So think of Grandma as you slap that cold hunk of paper to your bloody crotch.

4. Next decide if you want to sign your name in blood (which I think would just make it special) or...

5. Use a sharpie, which will make it more legible. But for goodness sakes, do sign your work. Let me tell you from experience, there is nothing more frustrating than going through a freakin' stack of pussy prints and trying to work out who is who.

6. Let them dry completely before slipping them into the envelope. You don't want the person receiving this treasure to have the heartbreak of smearing or sticking. That is no way to treat your period piece.

I couldn't get this out of my head. I am doing a book on creativity called: Strange Light. I suddenly imagined this could make a great title page for my Anastasia chapter. It would be eye-catching. I think it might generate a lot of press for my book. It would certainly increase sales. From 14-year-old boys to fifty something lesbians, this would get them all.

There is always the remote possibility that you might find this a little creepy and personal. I am probably over reacting. After all, it is all in the name of art. Showing solidarity with my sisters, tweaking the nose of the Man: the chauvinist pig who is afraid of our female parts and female hearts. Hmmm, there are days I just miss not having a vagina. It all sounds a little hollow without one, doesn't it? I guess I'll never be the lesbian I long to be. Sigh.

Oh well, sometimes we are only free in our dreams. Maybe some kind member of the community will show pity on a guy who wants to change and make me an honorary Sister. You know, like those losers who never finished grade school, become a big Hollywood star and then get honoree degrees from Yale or Harvard. Where is the school of cool women? I hope to go there someday, and like the Scarecrow, get my degree (well, in my case in Lez-ology) as I cry my eyes out, like the sentimental old softy I am. Consider this book my thesis paper.

I am completely honest about this art project. It seems like such a cracking good idea for a title page. "I bleed for my work and all... This is me, take it or leave it... even if it is uncomfortable." And I am always looking for unique content. This is VERY unique. I bet you Nora Roberts will not have a single pussy print in her next book.

My friend discussed this chapter with Anastasia and...

Vincent,
I just had a discussion about vaginas with *****... I told her about your blog and she laughed, got really quiet for a bit and said, "Umm... a straight guy writing about pussies? That's hot. But have him use a fake name plz? I'm not pussy printing for the world!" So, I think that means it's a go but use some hot pseudonym like "Anastasia Beaverhausen!" lol.

pussies (noun) 1. a group of cats  2. a group of female genitalia  3. the french.

When I Was as Naive as the World

So that's today's memory lane
with all the pathos and pain
  “Forth of July” - Aimee Mann

Today I found myself strolling down memory lane. Strolling? Okay, running like a madman. Like a man in love. It was the 1970s, I had fallen in love for the first time. Of course she didn’t love me back. Had she, I won’t be a writer. I’d be a happy idiot with five kids and good job. Nope -- not for me. I took the path less travel on. And I suspect Kris had a lot to do with that -- and in ways that only now I can comprehend.

Kris had ice blue eyes, was delightfully flat and tall. She had deep caramel color skin, long blonde hair and a deep chocolate voice that drove me crazy. Even today, I think it is a woman's voice that I fall in love with first. Voices that are different and full of character. Yep, you have a speech impediments -- you have my heart.

I confessed my love for Kris. She confessed that she actually wasn’t fond of people (of any kind) and wanted to be alone. She was close to one person, Renee. Renee had short black hair and looking like a tennis star from one of the Slavic countries. She was a very sporty girl.

My best friend at the time was Karen. We were both art geeks who’d listen to music and try to find the deeper meaning in the songs and life. I hung with a lot of girls. None of them seemed to have boy friends. At the time I didn’t think about that. I have just always been drawn to strong, independent gals.

You’re probably thinking. Umm, guy -- don’t you get it? It was the 70’s. The gay rights movement was just an ember. Lesbian were seen as crude stereotype. They were shunned by society and branded as freaks. Women didn’t have power back than. And a gay woman? Oh God, light the torches. Their is a monster -- a dangerous, unstable thing who clearly is up to no good. The closets were very crowded back then.

As for me? I honestly never even thought about it, too damn busy with my own pity and anger. Remember how you were as a teenage before you throw the first acme pad. I found solace for my broken heart by listen to a female singer. Their were rumors about her, too; “Didn’t she come out on the tonight show?”

“NO! That wasn’t her!” I’d correct.

She wasn’t one of those. Why were people slandering her? She was so pretty, so girly, girly! She was America’s sweetheart. Boys all around the world were looking at her and sighing -- their nights were filled with dreams of being in her arms. And, as it turned out, a lot of girls were looking at her, sighing and dreaming too. This singer had a very broad demographic. God, no wonder she sold a gazillion records.

Years later someone, probably a female fan of the singers, suggested I read a book: The Vinyl Closet: Gays in the Music World by Boze Hadleigh (Los Hombres Press C1991). Boze had an interviews with an unnamed famous singer, her “husband” and a girl who had an affair with the singer. There were so many obvious clues that anyone reading the book knew who the singer was.

At first I was pissed at Boze. Either he made it all up, or even worse, he betrayed her trust by outing her. That faded quickly. I was changed. I still felt the same about her, but how I looked at bi or lesbian women was different. They weren’t stereotypes anymore. They were people. Someone who I thought was the coolest person in the world, who sang very honest and true emotion. Someone who had a way of expressing my innermost feelings of longing, warmth, loss and the need to be needed.

It was like someone had lifted up a box that I had only seen the front of, turned it 180 degrees and set it back down. It was the same world it had always been, but it was not. Seeing it from another point of view (a view that was always there but I had never taken the time to consider) change me. I was no longer as naive as the world.

I send Boze a letter, explaining in detail what he had just done to me. He sent me back an autographed copy of his next book. A pretty damn big book, as I recall. I really don’t think he could afford to send that out to everyone. Perhaps my letter had the effect he was longing to have on the world. A world still pretty hostile to anything queer.

The songwriters I love the most today (who speak truest to my inner, deepest feelings) are women. I was talking with one of them recently, Jill Sobule, and she had her walls cover with the posters of same singer I did in the seventies. And knowing Jill, she was having the same rather impure thoughts about our cute girl-next-door singer. Pretty funny, know we have the same tastes in women. Yet I don’t know if Jill looks at picture of herself and sighs. I do. In some ways I’m still the fourteen-year-old boy, aren’t I? 

This week I had another epiphany. Another the box-had-just-been-turned-180-degrees day. I thought, “Hmmm, maybe I was a lesbian in a former life.” Out of the blue two of my best friends said the same thing on almost the same day. They both meant it as a complement. I couldn't have felt more proud. 

This Is What It Is Like

"This is what it is like," she held up her hand and showed me the tremble. Sweat rolled down her face. She had to sit. Kerry said, "I wanted you to see this. But I had to make sure I knew you well enough, first. I wanted to make sure you wouldn't run. Anytime I try to do something new -- outside my routine -- I get stressed and this is what happens. Thank you for coming with me. I couldn't have done this unless someone was there."

 When we saw the movie "A Beautiful Mind", Kerry provided commentary. Her voice was the only light in the room, yet it was bright enough to illuminate places deep inside her.

 10 years ago, at art college, a boyfriend betrayed her. He took her love and wonder without permission. She still has missing time; moments too horrible to remember. She still wakes up some nights seeing his face above her, as if it happened yesterday.

 "I don't want him to apologize," she said, "it is too late for that. I just want him to admit what he did. I want that piece of mind. I still dream of running into him -- telling him what a couple of greedy minutes had done to my life: 10 years of feeling I was drowning, suicide attempts, locked up in psychiatric wards, therapy, medication, HPV, cervical cancer, not feeling I could trust anyone ever again and having him rob me of being able to trust myself. Not being able to create for 10 years."

 When she was in the psychiatric ward, her parents had to begin to accept it: Kerry was gone. She might never be back. She might try to kill herself again -- she might be lost forever in the maze of her mind. They had to come to grips with the idea that they may never see their bright, artistic, curious, happy daughter again. The sunny girl who dreamt of being an artist. The one full of love and wonder who was about to shine so much beauty upon the world until someone tried to snuff it out.

 Doctors call Kerry's condition mental illness. I look at her and call it sensitivity and magic. I see the heart of an artist, full of the joy of life that ten years in hell could not kill. I could never understand why people tell others too be less sensitive. Is that the darkest thing that we unleash upon the world...sensitivity?

 Yes, Kerry lives in two worlds: the one everyone can see and another she has inside her. A world that stretches out forever and is smaller than a cantaloupe. I am privileged to visit Kerry's world. Everyday is another awfully big adventure. I don't control it. I go with it. I've learned so much about letting go and enjoying the moment from Kerry. To go anywhere with her is to let reality become a poem. It is a world of free association, after all Kerry is a jazz musician of the mind. And it is music to me. She rifts on an idea like Louis Armstrong playing the trumpet, but she plays with thoughts: endlessly inventive, bright and joyful. And they all tend to end with, "Oh -- I shouldn't have said that." Thank God, she did.

Her thoughts come and go so quickly. I have to always be aware. They are a golden speck -- the last ray of twilight sitting on a kitchen chair in the next room. If I hadn't looked up that second -- I'd have missed a masterpiece. Kerry showed me that there is beauty in every moment that will never be again. She taught me to stop and notice all the little shiny things in this world. You know, the things that impress kids and curious animals. The rest of us? Well, we grew up and let something deep inside die.

 During her cancer last year, she dealt with the trauma by drawing. Wonderful, compelling drawings. I can only think of one word that describes them: Kerry. She is creating again and there is a glow in her eyes. A bit of mischief too. Looking at photos of her from last year and what she is today -- we both gasp. She's come so far.

 What impresses me most, though, is that everyday she has to make a choice. Will she fight or give up. And she admits it would have been so easy to quit. This is too hard: the stress, the anxiety, the trembling hands, the possibility that people might think she's -- well, crazy. Who needs that? That is what it is like for Kerry. She could play it safe, realize how hard it is, crawl up in an attic and go into emotional hiding. But she is a fighter -- a bird that keeps getting shot down but won't stop flying. She is an artist, damn it. Start seeing artist. Imagine if Van Gogh had given up before he had ever painted. Imagine a world without Van Goghs. That is what it is like for me. I can't imagine a world without Kerry`s art. But in the end -- she is her greatest masterpiece.

 We sit in the college cafeteria until she feels better -- but it is getting noisy and crowded. We should go. I'll cook her dinner, we'll watch a movie and talk. Talk. That is always the best part. Anyway, we did what we wanted to do. We walked around and found where her classrooms were. She was going back to college Monday to earn her degree.

 "You have no idea what this means to me," Kerry said, "thank you so much for being there."

 I knew what it meant. Kerry was back

"Not in the Pink"

A drawing Kerry did the day she found out she had cancer. It is just like Kerry to see a monster and put flowers in its hair.

Song by Song by Jill

The idea for this the book Strange Light (Understanding Creativity) started in a previous website: Song by Song by Jill. At that site I tell the stories behind Jill Sobule's songs in her own words.

I am currently the administrator of both Jill’s official Facebook Musician page and street team. Swell gal, that Jilly Sue. A hero, my favorite songwriter, my mentor and the complete anti-diva.

Oh Crap, Today I Meet Jill Sobule

Oh crap, today I meet Jill Sobule. What kind of fool would I be? How would I screw this up? I’d find a way to have her look at me like I was crazy. I was sure of it. I had been helping Jill by being the administrator of her Facebook Musician site and her Street Team. I’d talked to her on the phone a lot but never met her. She called me and said she had something she wanted to give me. I stood outside the venue arguing with the guy at the door who kept repeating, “I don’t care what Jill Sobule told you. NO ONE gets in before seven.”

There was a flash of blonde hair behind him and red and blue stripes. A little pixie grabbed my hand, I took Kerry’s and we were beyond the looking glass.

“But...but...but...” a distant voice kept saying. I knew the rest. (We all know the rest.) There are rules. Yep. But Jill wasn’t playing by them. We past a big sign that read, “ABSOLUTELY No Photographs.” Jill winked at Kerry as Kerry took out a camera. ”Don’t play by their rules, Kerry.”

We went into the dressing room and she introduced me to a very sweet Erin McKeown. Next Jill kept thanking me for all I’d done for her. You’d think I was the star the way she treated me. Excited as a kid, she handed me a package. It was a painting she had bought of my favorite author Truman Capote. It was amazing and so sweet of her. Yet the truth is Truman Capote is now my second favorite writer. I was chatting with my favorite. Oh -- wow.

And then it happened. I screwed up. You knew I would, right? I looked down in horror. We were both wearing the same red and blue striped shirt. “Sorry, I should have called you,” I muttered.

“I’ll change!” she said. When she came out on stage, I gulped. She was in her Liza Cabaret outfit. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I too was wearing black fishnet stockings. Let’s keep that little secret to ourselves, okay? I am the king of unfortunate social faux pas. 

  

                               Jeanne, Jill and Kerry  


She gave me two other gifts, but may not recall them. The second gift was sitting with my friends and watching their reactions to her songs. She sang “Somewhere in New Mexico” -- which she knew was my favorite song. Watching Tom laugh and gasp as the song danced around so many emotions was a thrill I wasn’t expecting. To see Kerry nod with recognition during “Strawberry Gloss”. Kerry was in seventh grade again and reliving every detail. It was so fun to hear Jeanne laugh at “Wendell Lee”. I felt so connected to them. No longer would I worry that I was boring them as I went on and on about that fabulous Jill Sobule. From this day onward they would get it. She was their hero now too. Hero? Hmmm, wait....

Erin, me and Jill

The third gift was that as good as the concert was (and it was the best that any of us had seen) as amazing as it was that I was pulled up on stage by Jill. (I got to hold her lyric sheet and Erin’s xylophone as they did Neil Diamond’s “Coming to America.”) The best gift of the night was the way she talked to my friends and I as if we’d all known her twenty years. We were just old friends hanging out and shooting the breeze.

It was wonderful to watch Jill after the show. She talked to everyone who wanted to chat. She signed everyone’s autograph. She stood for every photograph and encouraged them to take more. The charm and kindness she had at making everyone feel like long lost friends was amazing. 

A few months ago I was listening to her music and reading her journal. I felt such a connection to someone I hadn’t even met. In the cold light of day, I knew how silly that was. I kept flattering myself in thinking we were kindred spirits. The first time I read her online journal was the moment that it hit me. She seemed to think and feel exactly like me. I remember thinking, “I’ve got to meet this woman!” And then I woke up. That would never happen. That’s the dream of a music geek who lies in bed thinking, “Man, someday I’m gonna be hanging out with Paul McCartney! He‘s gonna listen to everything I say and look at me like I matter.”

That was just a dream. I thought reality would be like what happened to my friend Tom, who finally got to meet Garrison Keiller. The man in the red shoes panicked when they made eye contact. Tom could see it in Garrison’s face. “Where the hell is security? Does this guy have a knife? Is he gonna leave his mark that way; in my chest?” It was the single most awkward encounter of Tom’s life... so far.

It is only in retrospect that I realize what an amazing gift Jill has. And she keeps giving it to everyone she meets. There have been times people have taken the gift of Jill’s friendship and tossed it right back at her. I know it has even made Jill cry to be rejected like that by someone she respects. People tell her to get a thick skin and not let it bug her. Yet it is what keeps her so open, friendly and willing to make contact: she has been on the other side. She knows just what it is like to have someone stare at her like she was crazy. But they aren’t going to beat Jill. She won’t become just another insensitive person who lets fear win and stops meeting people so openly -- just because it might hurt or it is a lot of trouble.

“She so personable,“ Jeanne kept saying again and again, as if it was impossible that she was so open and warm. What planet did she come from? Surely not this one.

It is hard work. Very hard work. Kerry decided she didn’t want to be a rock star when she saw all the behind the scene crap: Jill is her own roadie, she sleeps in a van scrunched up in a bucket seat as they drive all night to the next gig. Laundry? When do they do laundry? She smelled fine. Fresh as a fucking daisy.

I gave Jill a pink bag that read “Girls Rock”. It was full of Pringles, M&Ms and Rice Krispies Bars. Stuff Jill mentioned she paid way too much for at the mini bar. It was quickly devoured by Jill and her friends who needed something before the long trip ahead.

“What a glamorous life,” I kidded.

“But the shows, meeting the fans,” she said, “it’s so much fun.”

Jill has to go through hell just to come alive and spend a few hours with her fans. Fans that may have come to see Erin. They didn’t know they were fans of Jill’s when they came to the show. They would find it out when Jill started playing. And then Jill would talk to them. And they won’t be her fans anymore. They would become her friends. Come to think of it, Jill doesn’t have fans. She has friends that she sings to and chats with. That’s what makes her so different. You can’t wait to hear from your buddy, Jill. A buddy that says the smartest, funniest things. I mention that I cook for Kerry (who being a student, can’t afford protein). 

“He’s my meat provider!” Kerry said.

With a wonderfully dirty laugh, Jill smirked at Kerry. 

“Well, like a boyfriend, I mean,” Kerry added.

“Same thing!” Jill said.

Kerry was so afraid that she’d make a fool of herself in front of Jill. I told her Jill would completely understand her. “It’s so much fun to be with all these people who don’t look at me like I’m strange,” Kerry sighed.

“I’m really strange too,” Jill said, “but now I’m making a living at it.”
 
Kerry and I went back to Jeanne’s place. After playing with Jeanne’s beloved cat, Pete, we crashed on the floor. I can’t say I went to sleep. I didn’t sleep a wink as the evening replayed itself over and over in my mind. It was as if my brain was saying “Wow -- that was the coolest night of your life. Remember every smell, taste and sound.” Funny things kept coming back: Jill dressed in jeans and a T-shirt after the show (but still wearing her Liza hat). Or how we stood outside after packing her van and talked. 

My friend Tom was supposed to be at work at 4 AM the next day (with a long drive ahead of him) and was going to cut out early. It was almost midnight and he couldn’t leave, Jill was too interesting to talk to. She had noticed he was reading Stephen King’s “On Writing” and they started talking about it. Soon they were suggesting other books to each other.

We all had the feeling she was excited that we had stuck around to chat. We really felt like she didn’t want us to leave. That is such a good feeling to have. She wasn’t looking forward to a twenty-four hour drive to Seattle -- just her, Erin and the tour manager. 

“They want me to drive THAT,” she said pointing to the scary behemoth. “I’m a crappy driver!”

“Tell them if they value their lives -- they won’t let you drive,” I suggested.

“You‘re right! I‘ll tell them that. I’m not driving!”

Suddenly, like a six-year-old after too much Mountain Dew, Jill started jumping and dancing on the black top. It was so sweet and enthusiastic. It was just a second, no one else may have noticed it -- but it sticks in my mind: the chill of the November air, the sound of her sneakers on pavement and dried leaves, the dolphin joy of jumping into the air just for the fun of it... just to celebrate. 

Laying in the dark at Jeanne’s place, all I had was Jill's gift of the painting and a head full of stars. How could I sleep? I was still in a dream.

Thank you, Jill.