Evelyn Evelyn: They Are Watching Us Anyway

For clients of unique taste. Dillard and Fullerton's Elusive and Illogical traveling show is the twelfth largest touring circus in North America. The main attraction of this show of the grotesque and unusual are a pair of conjoined twins: Evelyn Evelyn. Like all of us, they dream of being more then just sideshow pass-arounds. “I want to be famous, they are watching us anyway...” sings Evelyn.

A haunting and darkly funny gothic story. It is a concept album that captures the feel of the weird films I used to watch as a kid at 2 AM through sleepy eyes. I was never sure how much of the film was real or just me dreaming. Imagine Betty Davis joined to herself in “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane” and starring in a postmodern cabaret musical by Amanda Palmer and Jason Webley. This is a black and white carnival at midnight filled with whispers and wind.

Ladies and gentleman, critics and hipsters
Have you heard the new disc by the Evelyn sisters? 
Seamlessly floating with grace between eras and genres 
They sing timeless songs ripe with double entendres.

My favorite song is the Clockwork Orange version of a vaudeville: “Have you Seen my Sister, Evelyn?” a laundry list of who is doing Evelyn. “Elephant Elephant” is a goofy children’s song about Bimba and Kimba, the world’s only known conjoined twin Siamese elephants. Sadly, the elephants die of premature Alzheimer's (there is nothing sadder than seeing an elephant forget.) The funeral was a grisly affair at an industrial trash compactor behind a Home Depot. This is just like the ending of the Velveteen rabbit, isn’t it?

“You Only Want Me ‘Cause You Want My Sister” is certainly the best country song I have ever heard about dating conjoined sisters.

If you think you are seeing double
Let me save you some trouble
This ain’t no two-for-one bargain here, Mister
Cause I’m much more than just quite shy
I’ve had enough of two timin’ guys
Who only want me ‘cause they want my twins.

The other songs are moody and disturbing like an old time radio drama from an unknown station. This could just be a throw away collection of silly songs. But even as a I laugh, an uneasy feeling came over me. All the put-ons disguise what I think the girls were really getting at: I (and any sympathetic listener) is as much a freak as Evelyn Evelyn in our own private circus. It is the joke behind the jokes -- and a very haunting joke at that. After all, we want to be famous, they are watching us anyway... And that’s enough circus for anyone.

Video for “You Only Want Me ‘Cause You Want My Sister” 


“You Only Want Me ‘Cause You Want My Sister” 

You pulled up at the house at half past seven 
In your '69 Impala
You shook hands with my father
And we stopped off at the drug store by the drive-in
For some Trojans and a six-pack
But still your eyes kept wandering back to her 
It's always her 

So let's get one thing straightened out here, sir. 

( Chorus: ) 
If you think you're seeing double,
Let me save you some trouble. 
This ain't no two-for-one bargain here, mister.
Cause I’m much more than just quite shy
Had enough of two-timing guys 
Who only want me 'cause they want my sister. 

My eyes are just as blue as her's
My hair is just as fine,
And that tattoo on her lower back
Is exactly just like mine. 
But if you look beneath the surface,
We're as different as can be
'cause there's just one heart that beats for you
And that heart belongs to me 
And not to her,
It's always her. 

So let's get one thing straight about your girl. 
(repeat chorus) 

Hooo-ooooo...! 

And if tomorrow you should die
My sister would not bat an eye,
She doesn't even know your name
She's going with some other guy. 
As long as she is still around
I'll always have a trace of doubt 
I need to know your love is real, but how? 

We're all dressed up
The flowers sure are pretty
Mother pays her last respects
I look around, no one suspects 
That it was me 
Who put the Drain-O in her coffee.
Now that she is underground 
I'll know that you’re not hanging 'round for her,
No, not for her. 
Now I’ll know your love is true for sure. 

(chorus)

It pains my heart to think of her
A rotting, stinking, maggot-infested bloated and puss oozing corpse beneath the earth
You can’t imaging how much I miss her.
But now I know you want me and not my sister.

Have You Seen My Sister, Evelyn?

Have you seen my sister, Evelyn?
Dang, she’s gone and wandered off again!
I've been lookin’ high and low,
Where oh where’d my sister go?
She's been known to spend some time
With a sailor friend of mine.

I called him up and what'd he say?
"I ain't seen that girl today!"
So if you see my sister Evelyn,
Tell that girl to hurry home again!
Where oh where’d my sister Evelyn go?

Is she with the doctor? Or the plumber?
Or the dentist? Or the handyman?
Did she go to India? Or Africa?
Or Wichita? Or Pakistan?
Did she go and join the navy?
Or go completely crazy?
Or is she playin’ a trick on me?

Did she run off with the farmer? Or the professor?
Or the banker? Or the clergyman?
Is it possible that she could be in Timbuktu Or Canada?
Or Vegas? Or Pakistani?
Is she learning how to do, do
The Chattanooga Choo-Choo?
Oh, golly, where could that girl be?

Have you seen my sister, Evelyn?
Dang, she’d gone and wandered off again!
I’ve been lookin’ high and low,
Where oh where’d my sister go?
She’s been known to jump a train
with a gal we know from down the lane.
I looked her up and what’d she say?
“I ain’t seen that girl in days!”
So if you see my sister Evelyn,
Tell that girl to hurry home again!
Where oh where’d my sister Evelyn go?

Is my floozy sister with the doctor? Or the drummer?
Or the dentist? Or the handyman?
Did that ho bag quit her job and run off with that dickhead, Mike to
India? Or Potanawa?
Or Panama? Or Disneyland?
Is she studyin’ Kabala? Did she win a million dollars?
Or is she dead in a ditch somewhere?

So if you see my sister Evelyn,
Tell that girl to hurry home again!
Where oh where,
Where oh where,
Where oh where,
Where oh where,
Where oh where’d my sister Evelyn go? 

The story behind "Evelyn Evelyn” - by Amanda Palmer


The twins are about to embark on their first tour, hitting the road in Canada and the US later this Spring.

"EVELYN AND EVELYN" US Tour Dates
04/12: Cambridge, MA @ Oberon
04/13: Cambridge, MA @ Oberon
05/17: Vancouver, BC @ Commodore Ballroom
05/19: Seattle, WA @ Showbox at the Market
05/20: Portland, OR @ Crystal Ballroom
05/22: San Francisco, CA @ Great American Music Hall
05/23: San Francisco, CA @ Great American Music Hall
05/25: Los Angeles, CA @ Largo at the Coronet
05/26: Los Angeles, CA @ Largo at the Coronet
05/27: Los Angeles, CA @ Largo at the Coronet
06/01: Minneapolis, MN @ Cedar Cultural Center
06/02: Chicago, IL @ Park West
06/04: Toronto, ON @ The Great Hall
06/05: Montreal, QC @ Theatre Corona
06/08: New York, NY @ Lucille Lortel Theatre *
06/09: New York, NY @ Lucille Lortel Theatre *
06/10: New York, NY @ Lucille Lortel Theatre *
06/11: New York, NY @ Lucille Lortel Theatre *
06/12: New York, NY @ Lucille Lortel Theatre *
06/13: New York, NY @ Lucille Lortel Theatre *
06/17: Washington, DC @ 9:30 Club
06/18: Philadelphia, PA @ Theatre of Living Arts

* = Soho Rep. presents, By Special Arrangement with the Lucille Lortel Theatre Foundation: Evelyn Evelyn

Video for “Elephant Elephant”

ROCK! Garden

Kerry and I had babies today: Parsley, Chives, Basil, Lettuce. We plant them together after our vacation. I didn’t know gardening could be such a blast. Kerry decorated the pots and we planted the seed last week. All but the parsley have sprouted. Kerry enjoyed it so much that she bought Snap Dragon and Morning Glories. I thought I’d plant tomatoes but the store was already out. All the herbs I had just planted were sold out too. Dang. Good thing I grabbed them early. It seems I’m not the only one with a window garden. (I used to call it a pot garden -- but I got too many odd looks.) It is like World War II all over again. Everybody has a Victory Garden. I’m calling mine a “ROCK!” Garden and rename the plants. Here’s possibilities unless someone has a funnier idea. Pop finally gets to eat itself: :

Elvis Parsley (It’s still in the ground.)
Lettuce Gaga (It is a variety pack -- I don’t know what to expect.)
Jilly Sue Jalapeno (Small but mighty, like Sobule herself.)
Beatle Basil (From an octopus garden in the shade.)
Olivia Newton-Chives (I honestly love these.)
Oasis: What’s the Story Morning Glory?

I have no idea what to call the snap dragons. I refuse to call them Daryl Snap Dragons... I mean who the hell under 30 knows who Captain and Tennille are?! Kids today don’t know the horror that was “Muskrat Love”.

I am a grand cook and it will be nice to have fresh herbs again. I just made Kerry fried wanton with cream cheese filling. That went over very well. Sunday I will cook a very cool dinner after we take a walk in a local grave yard to relax. Yeah, we’re different.

And because I feel really bad about trashing the Cap and Ms. T, here is a link to their official website: www.captainandtennille.net/ index.shtml 

Jewel, Lilith Fair and the Story Behind "Bitter"

I could slip, I could fall
In that mean and awful hall
With the other jealous bitches
And the bitter grumbling men
I could sneer, I could glare
Say that life is so unfair
And the one who made it
Made it cuz her breasts were really big.

-- Bitter (Sobule/Barone)

Everyone thought that I wrote that first verse about Jewel. I honestly didn't. I really have no beef with her. She's talented, has a nice voice, and can yodel. But I do have a story.

I was at SXSW (a music industry showcase in Austin). I had just been signed to Atlantic Records and was about to play one of those horrible shows for chatty catty record company posers -- I did not have this attitude fully developed back then. Anyway, it was a double bill with an unknown female singer/songwriter also debuting on Atlantic named'¦ Jewel.

Jewel, at that time, was this cute, slightly chubby hippie girl who sang folk songs and lived in a van (that was the story). She performed before me, as I had put out a CD on another label earlier and had more of a name (which was not saying much). As she got on stage, the jaded audience maybe looked up once, and then talked through her entire set. After her 5th song, she left in tears.

I felt so bad for her, and knew exactly how she felt. I went backstage, gave her a hug, and gave her some big sisterly advice: "It wasn't you. You were great, and they are just big assholes." I thought to myself, this poor girl is going to be so eaten up by this world of broken promises and heartache (something like that).

As bad as I felt for her, I was determined to kick some ass. I opened up with my "when it's a hostile crowd" opening number, Don't Fuck With Me. It has worked opening up Paul Weller's lager-swilling fans, Don Henley's ex hippie now Republican crowd, and even did magic with the semi-goth frat boy Godsmack show. And yes, this cheap trick worked in Austin. They shut up. I knew right then and there that I was going to be Atlantic Record's new diva. "I was gonna be a star" (said in a kind of 1930's NY Broadway manager way).

Zoom'¦ 7 months later: I was playing the Lillith Fair. This was big, this was huge. Except for the fact that I was on the second stage scheduled at 4:00. And the tickets said the show started at 4:30. My audience consisted mostly of volunteers putting out the folding chairs. On the main stage at 8:00 was... yes, Jewel.

Things had not turned out the way I had imagined.

I just want to say again, and I know I am being redundant, that I am not bitter and am happy for Jewel's success. This is not a zero sum game. I was so grateful to be at Lillith. But dang, what about me? Jewel was in a cool rock van with two lounges and a satellite dish. I was in a rented Ford Probe with my friend David. Jewel was probably at the Ritz. I was in the junkie/whore motel. Most whores do not look like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.

Zoom... 2 days later: Sorta bummed. I woke up with a terrible sore throat. I called the promoter, and she said there was a doctor set up in a trailer behind Stage three. As I walked in, the doctor said, "when I heard you were coming, I was so excited. I have to tell you that my two daughters adore you. They know every lyric you sing."

I was starting to already feel better. I just needed a little love. I needed to know that there were smart girls out there that appreciate good music and are not sucked in by all the crap. I needed to know that someone looked beyond I Kissed a Girl and was moved by my melodic sense and lyrical prowess. I needed someone to buy my CD. This was a sign. I could start hoping again.

As I skipped out the door, the doctor rushed out and asked if I wouldn't mind signing an autograph for his daughters. I eagerly did, while making an extra flourish on the J. As I walked out for the second time, he said, "thank you so much, Jewel."

Posted on the Lilith Fair site. A cry for help?

I don't want to get bitter.
I don't want to turn cruel.
I don't want to get old before I have to.
I don't want to get jaded
Petrified and weighted.
I don't want to get bitter like you

Like you with the darts in your eyes
You with disdain for mankind
I was charmed, now I wonder

So, I'll smile with the rest
Wishing everyone the best
And know the one who made it,
Made it cause she
Was actually pretty good



Oh, I have another little story relating to my song Bitter. Bitter was going to be the big single off my 3rd CD, Happy Town, but the label was worried that it had the word "bitch" in it (and this was way before the FCC got out of hand). They wanted me to replace "bitch" with something that Wal-Mart would be okay with. I went back in the studio and replaced the offending word with... "cunt."

I thought it was funny. They didn’t.

(Originally written by Jill Sobule for Performing Songwriter magazine Sept 2009.)

Buy at the Jill Store

Happy Town CD
Long out of print, we've rescued Jill's acclaimed 1997 album from oblivion and are offering it here for the first time in years! Plus, we're releasing the CD with its original "controversial" cover art (depicting a pill instead of test tubes). Not available in any store, this CD can only be purchased at select live shows and here on the website! Includes these fan favorites: Bitter, Happy Town, Barren Egg, Half a Heart, When My Ship Comes In, Clever, I'm So Happy, Little Guy, Underachiever, Love Is Never Equal, Soldiers Of Christ, Attic, Sold My Soul, and Super 8.

Regular price: $15.00 - ON SALE NOW: $12.00

http://www.jillsobule.com/store

“Bitter” Video

[I should point out that I work for Jill Sobule and posted this article on her FB Musician Site, which I am the administrator of. The comments below are from her site, where I first posted this. I didn't want anyone wondering why everyone thinks I am Jill Sobule!! I am taller and not as Jewish. -- Vincent]

Jill's site:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Jill-Sobule/8040904099

"October in Paris” by Jill Sobule

Well, it was about a trip I took with my old French boyfriend Yves (who is now my best buddy). Anyway, we had a miserable time together. I wanted to go to the Impressionist museum, and he was the one that said, "Monet, could suck his dick". He was not fond of the Orsay museum for whatever reason. It was also miserable weather and the trains were on strike. We broke up a week later. 

Oh yes, we visited his parents who were not keen on me: American and Jewish. And he told them I was "bisexual". Why would he say that to his 80 year old old fashioned French parents? 

Now, I make him sound like a terrible person. I adore him now-but was a terrible boyfriend.  
-- Jill Sobule, March 08, 2010 in an email to me.


“October in Paris”

October in Paris 
The skies are all gray 
Walk all alone on the Champs-Elysées 
It just reminds me of our German Tanks 
Rolling through the arches 

October in Paris 
It's not a great night 
Everyone's pissy 
The trains are on strike 
It must have been better in twenty-five 
Josephine Baker and Absente 

You're absent in my life 
There's nothing I can do about it 
The more I travel, 
The more I unravel 
You're absent in my life 

It's raining in Paris 
The red traffic lights 
Stream like mascara 
defusing the sky 
It just reminds me 
How much I dislike 
Monet's Water Lilies 

And it's so pathetic 
When someone name drops 
Puts famous dead artists 
And Paris in song 
Please forgive me for 
All I've done wrong 
Today my self-worth is absent 

You're absent in my life 
There's nothing I can do about it 
The more I travel 
The more I unravel 
You're absent... 
You're gone... 
You left me in the storm... 
You're absent in my life 


This song was on her Valentine CD called "Be Mine... Please" (2000).

"Heroes" by Jill Sobule

Jill Sobule will be playing La Java March 16, 8:30pm in Paris. And yes, she will so be singing “Heroes” in France. You know, where they joined the resistance after the war. She’s done it before. They didn’t applaud. Maybe Jill sang the words too fast. I have them below. 

Does anyone want to add lyrics to the song? Do you have any heroes who turned out to be jerks -- or at least made a fool of themselves? IE: “Tiger woulds do anyone...”

“Heroes”

Why are all our heroes so imperfect
Why do they always bring me down
Why are all our heroes so imperfect
The statue in the park has lost his crown

William Faulkner drunk and depressed
Dorothy Parker mean, drunk and depressed
And that guy in Seven Years in Tibet turned out to be a nazi
The founding fathers all had slaves, the explorers slaughtered the braves,
The Old Testament God can be so petty

Paul McCartney jealous of John, even more so now that he's gone
Dylan was so mean to Donovan in that movie
Pablo Picasso cruel to his wives
My favorite poets took their own lives
Orson Welles peaked at 25, ballooned before our eyes
and he sold bad wine

Heard Babe Ruth was full of malice
Lewis Carroll I'm sure did Alice
Plato in the cave with those very young boys
TS Elliott hated Jews, FDR didn't save the Jews
All the French joined the resistance after the war
Raymond Chandler drunk and depressed
Tennessee Williams drunk and depressed
Think I'll just get drunk and depressed. 



Video for “Heroes”
 


Buy Jill’s grand music at: http://www.jillsobule.com/store

“Wendell Lee” by Jill Sobule

Jill and Wendell Then

 

I was thinking about old flames and where they are now. Let’s see, I have had maybe 7 or 8 (serious to semi-serious) break ups in my life. I am thinking that means you went out with them for, say, more than 3 months. So, that doesn't count Robbie Naiman, who in 6th grade, asked me to go steady in the morning, then broke up with me after second recess. It seemed an eternity. That does not include my terrible crush (a year later) on my best friend Mary Gardner, who accidentally (or was it?) touched my breasts.
 
I had not done it yet. You would have never guessed. I considered myself a rather hip girl for my age. I had a fake ID, had smoked pot, and played in a glam rock band with older guys who had suspect English accents (they were from Denver). Yet, I think, I was the last of my girlfriends to go “all the way”-fourth base. I was starting college in a week and this seemed absurd and somewhat shameful.

Second day of my freshman year at Colorado University: I thought I would find the cutest guy in our dorm, make an advance, and get over that hump.

During our dorm floor orientation, this adorable, but sort of badass looking Hawaiian boy with dark aviators and surfing shorts, walked in. 

I had not gone all the way yet with a boy, and thought... enough was enough. So, that night, after a party, I took him to an all night Denny’s for an English muffin, and the rest was history.
 
We lasted the rest of the year, but it was always pretty iffy. I was in my depressive anorectic phase, and he was the popular campus drug dealer. One of our more "romantic" moments was when I came home from class -- it was my birthday -- and he had the number 19 written in cocaine on the glass coffee table. So there are tons of Wendell Lees: a photographer, a wine dealer, a lawyer, but none seem to match.

Many years later: I spent an entire evening on the internets trying to find out what ever happened to Wendell. No luck. Not everyone has a personal vanity website, tweets, or does Facebook. After that, I started Googling other people from the past. This was not a complete waste of time as I ended up writing a song called…Wendell Lee.

The song has been out in the world (on California Years) for almost nine months. People have inquired if I have heard from Wendell.

Last week: I received an email from Wendell. He had not heard the song. I sent him the record (with a wooden dreidel –I have a ton of them left over from my holiday CD). He is, I think, honored to have a song with his name in the title. He was, however, curious about what the little wooden toy was all about. Just to let you know, he has fared better than the other exes in the song. He is still cute, has his hair, and a job.
He sent me a bunch of pictures that he took from our time together. I have not seen myself from that period in many a year. I forgot about my Loraine Newmanish perm. I forgot that despite the hairdo, I was actually kind of cute too. I never felt that way though. I was about to go into a full-blown eating disorder the following summer. Is youth wasted on the young? Nah, just let’s you reflect and write a good semi-depressing song. -- Jill Sobule

Jill and Wendell Today

“Wendell Lee”
(Written by Jill Sobule, Robin Eaton)
 
Hey Wendell, where are you now?
I searched online, but nothing found
I wonder what you done and what you become
Wendell, you were the first for me
We were both stoned and seventeen
After our date at the Denny's, we got it on
We got it on

It didn't last too long

Hey Robin, I typed in your name
Nothing came up, so I'm afraid
I'll never know exactly why you broke up with me
But it turned out okay
Met someone else on that same day
Her name was Jenny and I wrote her that song
Didn't last too long
And the list goes on

These are some of the people that I (Some of the people)
I went out with
Before I met you
These are some of the people that I (Some of the people)
Thought would be the one
Oh

Oh Billy, my, how you changed
You lost your hair and gained that weight
I wonder if I
Look that bad too
Have you kept up with my career?
Do you still wish that you were near?
I hope that you regret
You fucked my best friend
Marilyn
Marilyn

These are some of the people that I (Some of the people)
I went out with
Before I met you
These are some of the people that I (Some of the people)
Thought would be the one
Oh

Hey Alex, now what do I do?
Went on Classmates and I found you
Do I pay extra for your address and phone?
No, I leave it alone
I got a new love in my life
I think that this one could be right
If not, I'll add another verse to this song
And the list goes on

These are some of the people that I (Some of the people)
I went out with
Before I met you
These are some of the people that I (Some of the people)
Thought would be the one

These are some of the people that I (Some of the people)
Thought would last and make me happy
These are some of the people that I (Some of the people)
Thought would be the one
Oh

Hey Wendell, where are you now?
Hey Wendell, where are you now? 

 

Video for “Wendell Lee”