Kerry called, "Did you hear that Michael Jackson is dead?"
I don't know if I answered. What I do knew remember was how mixed my emotions were. Michael Jackson was about my age. We were children together. But, mostly, I remembered "Ben." A love song to a rat. I'm sure everyone else was thinking of "Thriller" or "Billy Jean," songs that changed the world. Not me. I was thinking about THAT song.
In fairness, I have my reasons. "Ben" was the first "real" song I learned to play on the piano. I remember the bumpy texture of the gray sheet music. The squeak of the hard piano stool as my little butt squirmed. The smell of "Lemon Pledge" furniture polish that my mom drenched our old acorn brown piano with until it reeked like oil and very old lemonade -- and shimmered like a country pond in August. That smelly old player piano was amazing.
It played -- all by itself (and with the maniacal pumping of a ten-year-old high on one too many Shasta cherry colas and six giant pixie sticks): "Red Wing," "She Wore A Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" and "Yes, We Have No Bananas!" My collie's tail thumped on the oak floor. She, Lightening, was so happy to be next to me and endured my playing (now that's love) as she panted in the summer heat -- and drooled on my bare feet. Bliss!
I hit a key. Me... me playing a SONG, which was probably halting and awful... but as a kid, it was magic. I hit a note and MAGIC would happen. Music was a friend I could summon like a genie and it would do what I asked without question. It was my best friend. It was the dog that would never have to be put to sleep because we had to move from the country into a tiny place in Rochester. It was what the inside of my head sounded like. It could cease my thoughts from running off in a thousand directions as they all stopped, listened -- and heard beauty.
That is the moment my life-long love for music began. Hearing that song always takes me back to a lazy summer day in Minnesota. My confusion about what I should feel fades away into that memory, childhood and an innocent love of music. Michael wasn't much older than I when he sang that song. Now he's gone. The world is a lot less innocent. I certainly am. But it is that innocent world that I find myself in every time I hear that song. I'm a kid at a piano discovering magic for the first time.
Ben
by Walter Scharf / Don Black
Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
I'll never be alone
And you, my friend, will see
You've got a friend in me
(you've got a friend in me)
Ben, you're always running here and there
You feel you're not wanted anywhere
If you ever look behind
And don't like what you find
There's one thing you should know
You've got a place to go
(you've got a place to go)
I used to say "I" and "me"
Now it's "us", now it's "we"
I used to say "I" and "me"
Now it's "us", now it's "we"
Ben, most people would turn you away
I don't listen to a word they say
They don't see you as I do
I wish they would try to
I'm sure they'd think again
If they had a friend like Ben
(a friend) Like Ben
(like Ben) Like Ben
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