Jewel, Lilith Fair and the Story Behind "Bitter"

I could slip, I could fall
In that mean and awful hall
With the other jealous bitches
And the bitter grumbling men
I could sneer, I could glare
Say that life is so unfair
And the one who made it
Made it cuz her breasts were really big.

-- Bitter (Sobule/Barone)

Everyone thought that I wrote that first verse about Jewel. I honestly didn't. I really have no beef with her. She's talented, has a nice voice, and can yodel. But I do have a story.

I was at SXSW (a music industry showcase in Austin). I had just been signed to Atlantic Records and was about to play one of those horrible shows for chatty catty record company posers -- I did not have this attitude fully developed back then. Anyway, it was a double bill with an unknown female singer/songwriter also debuting on Atlantic named'¦ Jewel.

Jewel, at that time, was this cute, slightly chubby hippie girl who sang folk songs and lived in a van (that was the story). She performed before me, as I had put out a CD on another label earlier and had more of a name (which was not saying much). As she got on stage, the jaded audience maybe looked up once, and then talked through her entire set. After her 5th song, she left in tears.

I felt so bad for her, and knew exactly how she felt. I went backstage, gave her a hug, and gave her some big sisterly advice: "It wasn't you. You were great, and they are just big assholes." I thought to myself, this poor girl is going to be so eaten up by this world of broken promises and heartache (something like that).

As bad as I felt for her, I was determined to kick some ass. I opened up with my "when it's a hostile crowd" opening number, Don't Fuck With Me. It has worked opening up Paul Weller's lager-swilling fans, Don Henley's ex hippie now Republican crowd, and even did magic with the semi-goth frat boy Godsmack show. And yes, this cheap trick worked in Austin. They shut up. I knew right then and there that I was going to be Atlantic Record's new diva. "I was gonna be a star" (said in a kind of 1930's NY Broadway manager way).

Zoom'¦ 7 months later: I was playing the Lillith Fair. This was big, this was huge. Except for the fact that I was on the second stage scheduled at 4:00. And the tickets said the show started at 4:30. My audience consisted mostly of volunteers putting out the folding chairs. On the main stage at 8:00 was... yes, Jewel.

Things had not turned out the way I had imagined.

I just want to say again, and I know I am being redundant, that I am not bitter and am happy for Jewel's success. This is not a zero sum game. I was so grateful to be at Lillith. But dang, what about me? Jewel was in a cool rock van with two lounges and a satellite dish. I was in a rented Ford Probe with my friend David. Jewel was probably at the Ritz. I was in the junkie/whore motel. Most whores do not look like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.

Zoom... 2 days later: Sorta bummed. I woke up with a terrible sore throat. I called the promoter, and she said there was a doctor set up in a trailer behind Stage three. As I walked in, the doctor said, "when I heard you were coming, I was so excited. I have to tell you that my two daughters adore you. They know every lyric you sing."

I was starting to already feel better. I just needed a little love. I needed to know that there were smart girls out there that appreciate good music and are not sucked in by all the crap. I needed to know that someone looked beyond I Kissed a Girl and was moved by my melodic sense and lyrical prowess. I needed someone to buy my CD. This was a sign. I could start hoping again.

As I skipped out the door, the doctor rushed out and asked if I wouldn't mind signing an autograph for his daughters. I eagerly did, while making an extra flourish on the J. As I walked out for the second time, he said, "thank you so much, Jewel."

Posted on the Lilith Fair site. A cry for help?

I don't want to get bitter.
I don't want to turn cruel.
I don't want to get old before I have to.
I don't want to get jaded
Petrified and weighted.
I don't want to get bitter like you

Like you with the darts in your eyes
You with disdain for mankind
I was charmed, now I wonder

So, I'll smile with the rest
Wishing everyone the best
And know the one who made it,
Made it cause she
Was actually pretty good



Oh, I have another little story relating to my song Bitter. Bitter was going to be the big single off my 3rd CD, Happy Town, but the label was worried that it had the word "bitch" in it (and this was way before the FCC got out of hand). They wanted me to replace "bitch" with something that Wal-Mart would be okay with. I went back in the studio and replaced the offending word with... "cunt."

I thought it was funny. They didn’t.

(Originally written by Jill Sobule for Performing Songwriter magazine Sept 2009.)

Buy at the Jill Store

Happy Town CD
Long out of print, we've rescued Jill's acclaimed 1997 album from oblivion and are offering it here for the first time in years! Plus, we're releasing the CD with its original "controversial" cover art (depicting a pill instead of test tubes). Not available in any store, this CD can only be purchased at select live shows and here on the website! Includes these fan favorites: Bitter, Happy Town, Barren Egg, Half a Heart, When My Ship Comes In, Clever, I'm So Happy, Little Guy, Underachiever, Love Is Never Equal, Soldiers Of Christ, Attic, Sold My Soul, and Super 8.

Regular price: $15.00 - ON SALE NOW: $12.00

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“Bitter” Video

[I should point out that I work for Jill Sobule and posted this article on her FB Musician Site, which I am the administrator of. The comments below are from her site, where I first posted this. I didn't want anyone wondering why everyone thinks I am Jill Sobule!! I am taller and not as Jewish. -- Vincent]

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