Pixie Herculon – The Bear Song

There is new dance song by Pixie Herculon (she’s the new Katy Perry) that’s getting a lot of attention. Here’s a little bedtime story from your Uncle John Waters to explain everything.


John Waters:

We all have limits. I have limits. At first the "bear" community kind of surprised me. This is middle-aged, hairy, fat homosexuals that find that erotic. All gay people know about that. No straight people know about that. Bears look for "cubs" and cubs look for "otters" -- people who aren't fat or hairy but will be.
They talk about, "This is my husbear. This is my significant otter." They talk about coming out of the second closet. That's too much for me, I say, "You tell your parents that you’re a bear?"

They say, "Yes, sometimes we do!"

I thought, oh come on, your parents have finally accepted that you are gay and you come in and say, "I have something else to tell you. Sit down... I am a bear!"

"A what?"

"A bear!"

"Don't tell your parents you are a bear! That's cruel and unusual punishment!"

-- From the film “This Filthy World” (2006)

“The Bear Song” by Pixie Herculon

(Grrrrr, warning explicit lyrics, kiddies.)

Disco this mother fucker...

If I was a guy
I’d wanna be a bear
At the bearbucks in Castro
I’d be there
Two shots of espresso
Make that three
I’m big as a cabin
I’m a mighty oak tree
It I was a guy
I’d wanna to be a bear.
It I was a guy
I’d wanna be a bear

No one’d call me call me sissy
If I was still up in Juno
They’d take me for straight
In my lumber Jack shirt
And my working man boots
Not just a beard, but a completely hair suit
If I was a guy
I’d wanna be a bear
I’d wanna be a bear

I’d be your daddy
You’d be my cub
I’d wrap around you 
With a big bear hug
Well, I could be nasty
Or I could be sweet
260 pounds of raw bear meat
I wanna be a bear

If I was your bear
I would take you on a picnic
Look in my basket
You can see I got a big dick
When I kiss on you
You will get so dizzy
Check me out Boo-Boo
I’m a straight love grizzly


(Thanks to Nicole Jeppsen for helping with the lyrics.)



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Here is the video